I was just Thinkin'...

I was just thinkin'.

What makes leaders in the Christian community think it's effective to 'discipline' others by shunning them? I have once again raised the battle lines in a fellowship by not being 'obedient'.
 I'm not complaining as much as wondering when this kind of action (or re-action) is no longer going to plague the Bride of Christ.

You see, I "came out' this last year. No! Not like that! I finally actually told some church leaders that I was a ...(gulp) prophet! There! I said it again! prophetprophetprophet!

Yup. Not only prophetic, because every Christian has the ability to prophecy at times, but honest to goodness constant words runnin' in my head-can't sleep-dreamin' dreams- can see your hurts-hear from God all the live-long day prophet.

This for some reason has unsettled a few. So, in good ol' church tradition, you 'discipline' folks like me by ignoring my existence. And you use me as an example in your ministry classes and all of your followers suddenly snub me too.

You see, I'm not supposed to be a prophet. Some friends wrote a book years ago about seeking out and embracing your spiritual "office". Suddenly, everyone in leadership, or wanting leadership, was supposed to do these classes led by the authors. There were some good things in the book. And it was fun to be with  friends every week.

But the last few meetings were personal prayer times where you "discovered" your office by everyone else telling you who you were. As I sat it the center and everyone prayed and spoke out 'prophetic' word, I didn't know how to handle it. "I dub thee, Madame ...  Encourager!" (not exact words!)

I just ... well....anyway. On the way home I asked my husband "What do you think about me impartation?"

"Oh! Totally wrong! They had everything about you completely out of whack. It's like they've never met you!"

I was so relieved!

I can be an encourager. After all, I have years of training in the field of psychology to prove it. I know the right things to say and how to say them. I can manipulate words and people without blinking an eye. I have been trained in diplomacy and salesmanship. I can figure out what you want and say exactly the right thing.
I can make you feel goooooood! And truthfully, I like people!!

But in my head, I can hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and it's very different words that need to be spoken. You see, prophets are many times given a specific message to tell for a season. Patricia King was given one word for ages! "God loves you!" Sounds incongruous, doesn't it? But that word, delivered by her obedience to GOD, not man, touched the lives of countless people where ever she spoke.

I, whoopidy-dee, was given a more stringent message. And nearly every time I spoke, I got short shrift. I got to deliver warnings about, oh, different directions we were taking. Any way, the whole deal boiled down to I was a disobedient, naughty girl. They took their ball and went home.

I didn't encourage, even though I tried to do. I would even add to the words He gave me! I honestly (pun intended) added soothing happy endings to the messages I got so they wouldn't get mad!

So, I lost my grip. I was a fraud. Only a handful of people had heard me out, and had found me solid.
I finally confessed to the Lord my duplicity, my anger and my disappointment in myself. And decided it was all or nothing. Whew!!!

It seemed that I had become a person non gratis at my church. Then one Sunday morning, I was released! He set me free of all responsibility for them. In a way, it irked me! I had put a lot of years in this place and these people!! But, He set me out to find a new place with a new mission. How exciting!!

Back to the shunning! My husband who is very insightful, said it was the common church way. If you have someone whom displeases you, you simply create an unpleasant environment for them and they will eventually leave. Well, we've been in a LOT of churches and it's true. How terribly sad.

I wish the leaders who are upset with me would have talked to me. I've tried to talk to them, but it's hard to open a door with no knob. Would it not be great if we, as leaders in the church, would be willing to look at differences of ministry not as hard-headedness or disobedience, but as necessity of a calling? At least to ask someone what they are doing? This shunning stuff is for the birds!

Anywho ... I was just thinkin'.